A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

If that statement is indeed true, than many of my fellow Mistresses are saying some things they shouldn't be in their ads. No, I'm not talking about the WAY that they practice Professional Domination, but rather, the hidden meaning behind their images. Here's an example: What does it say about a woman as a business person when she has two stellar, professional photos of herself in glam makeup and a nice fetish outfit in her ad, but then the last photo shows her without hardly any makeup and her body hanging out all over? It says to me that she's not all that concerned about her public image, or she doesn't even look at her ads herself. Don't Mistresses have someone other than their FRIENDS review their ad copy? Do people in my business live in a world where they believe their own press enough that this is the result? I'm really beginning to wonder about the common sense of Pro Dommes everywhere.

This isn't merely another Vinyl Queen Rant. I'm not the only one of this opinion. Just today, my client was asking me what the hell was up with some of the ladies on Erosguide. He hasn't been in the Scene for all THAT long, but he's viewed ads for long enough to know that SOME of the Mistresses advertising on that site HAVE NEVER CHANGED THEIR PHOTOS. It would be one thing if the women who are doing this looked EXACTLY like their photos or better, but they DON'T. They have put on a lot of "mileage" since the images were first taken. He's not the only client who has asked me about this strange phenomena. I wish I had an answer for these questions as I'm completely stumped. I mean WHY would you want to portray yourself in anything but the most positive light? Why would you want the audience you market to think that you weren't as beautiful as you CAN be? Maybe it's that whole peace, love, and understanding crap that a lot of women I know espouse: If he were TRULY into BDSM, than he wouldn't call me after viewing JUST my ad. He'd go to my website and THEN he'd see THE REST of my photos and have a better idea of how I look now. Um, sorry ladies but that's NOT how it works. Hasn't anyone ever heard of you get one chance to make a first impression? Do you think that the business man who flew in the night before and is surfing the ads is looking to research a Mistress? Yes, sometimes people DO do the leg work they should before a session, but most of the time the photo catches their attention, they make the call and that's that.

I keep hearing stories from clients who were wooed into calling a Mistress by her photos, and then when they arrive at her door, she doesn't look anything like them. That is also poor marketing. I'm all for glamming it up, but when you DO NOT appear like that in session EVER, it's a problem and it can be a killer for your professional reputation.

I guess the bottom line is that many women in my line of work don't REALLY want to work all that much so they purposely sabotage their potential. What else could possibly explain this type of nonsense? I certainly can't come up with a better answer. Can you?

VQ

My Visit From Denise, The Rubber Slut

Last night I spent a number of hours with one of my favorite clients: Denise, The Rubber Slut. Denise has been seeing me for a number of years now, and we always have a good time together. This due in no small part to the amount of preparation that he goes through in order to make the session run smoothly. Denise brings his own outfit, toys, and always has something new and interesting to share in that realm of "things" he has in his arsenal.

I also appreciate that Denise has a persona that was developed prior to visiting me for the first time. Mind you, I don't mind making up personas for those who are into cross-dressing, but my attitude is different when I am presented with a fully-formed "personality" in session. Denise is one of those.

Denise likes to suck cock. Denise also adores rubber, hence the name. I don't run into too many satin or lace sluts, but I DO know of rubber sluts. Mind you, it's not easy for me, Denise, and whomever is helping me out with the session to be COMPLETELY clad in latex for the duration of the session, but we all endure due to how the presence of so much rubber transforms Denise's responses.

Last night was a first for Denise. I have been rotating various new people into our sessions together and this was the first appearance of my friend Kat Meyers. I have known Kat for a few years and I also know that she has a latex wardrobe and looks good wearing it. From my experience shooting a video with her and doing some photo shoots, I knew that some day she'd be a welcome addition a session. I was correct in my assessment. Denise concurs I'm sure. From the moment that Denise sat down for his makeup application, we could tell he was nervous about the other Mistress in the room. These nerves translated into Denise performing to his Rubber Slut best and impressing even me with his willingness to serve and take pain for the two of us.

You can read more about Denise's experiences here. More photos and video of Denise are also available in the members section of my website ( shameless plug). Denise is a lot of fun to watch :) but don't take my word for it, find out for yourself!

VQ

I Once Had This Girlfriend Who...

...And so the stories usually begin. Time after time I hear from a potential client who wants to "replicate" a situation he had with a "girlfriend." Sure ya do buddy. Like this stuff ever really happened.

Why do I sound so dubious? I'm sorry but I simply do not believe that this woman you had some sort of relationship with brought over five of her good friends and then humiliated you en masse. Why do I say that? I react in this way because I am a kinky person who works as a Professional Dominatrix. If ANYBODY interacts with other kinky/open-minded women on a regular basis, then it is I. I have NEVER had ANY of my friends ot co-workers tell me about, "this one time when I felt like showing my boyfriend what Female Supremacy was all about, so we humiliated him on the bathroom floor for five hours." Trust me, if your girlfriend had wanted to humiliate you, it wouldn't have taken her friends and five hours. All she would have had to do is point and laugh at your genitals--no matter what their actual size is/was. Simply laughing at you in general is usually a pretty decent type of humiliation for most guys. Why bring in friends? Why should a woman bring her friends in on something when all it goes to show THEM is that you're pathetic? She has to face them in the future. Don't you think that they'd consistently flash back to what happened every time you were in a public location with them--or even answering the door? Then it's not so much fun. Then you become a constant object of ridicule and it's not erotic embarrassment anymore.

So save the Penthouse Forum stories for when we're actually in session and you want to convey a fantasy that really gets you hot. THAT is the time or the place to tell me about these stories, NOT on the phone when you're trying to set up time with me.

VQ

Bringing Gifts To Sessions

A lot of Mistresses tell their clients that they must bring some type of "token" to their sessions. I have seen guys translate this to mean they need to bring flowers, candy, nylons, or something even more substantial along with them to present before everything gets started. I have mixed feelings on DEMANDING a token or making it a requirement to see me. I'd much rather discuss how I feel about this topic and let my clients do what they will from that point on...

First of all, if I don't tell you to do something, and you do it on your own, you get enormous points in my book. It's fairly easy to point and click online and have something shipped to me, but it takes a lot more effort to physically go to a vendor, purchase an item that you have to pick out, then bring it to me for my perusal before session. The key word here is EFFORT. It shows that you have taken TIME to do something, above and beyond what the ORDINARY client would do. Granted, there are times when it's simply not feasible for anything extra to be brought to my door, but for the most part, there IS time to purchase something as small as a card. Yes, cards count. Women LOVE cards. I know it seems silly that we are impressed by things that are dead already ( flowers) and pieces of heavy paper folded in two. It's because those items need to be CHOSEN. You have to THINK ( well at least a little) in order to buy them. When you are THINKING about us, even when there is a professional transaction that is about to take place, it MEANS something to us. When we know that you've used your brain to THINK, then it means that you are a more multi-faceted individual and we'll probably have a better time with you.

I experienced two situations during my recent trip to LA where gifts were brought to session. The first example was where I TOLD my client to bring me fruit and sparkling water ( as per his request SHOULD BE BRING SOMETHING), and he showed up with those items AS WELL AS an beautiful orchid. I was impressed to say the least. It showed that he had gone to my site, read my interests, and knew that I enjoyed potted plants of a certain type better than cut flowers. We ended up having a great time together. This was not due to what he brought, but my initial assessment of his thoughtfulness was a correct prediction of how he was going to behave once we got the session started.

The other instance was with someone who drove all the way from San Diego to see me. He ALREADY had a long drive to LA for his session, but he showed up with a VARIETY of items nonetheless. He bore Bath and Bodyworks goodies and dark chocolate. There was also a cute card in the bag. He pushed all of my buttons with the assortment he brought to the session. I don't specifically state what types of lotion or bath gel I like, but he was able to get either right on or VERY close with his choices. The chocolate was a DIRECT hit. It was a variety that is only available in San Diego. Once again, I was very impressed. He took the time to review my site, figure out what type of chocolate I enjoyed, and then went the extra step of obtaining a type that I couldn't get in MY area.

In closing, don't feel bad if you can't bring a gift to your next session. Just know that if you do, a little goes a long way. The Mistress might not mention that she is impressed, but you'll make SOME sort of impression with her :).

VQ

Let's Give This Blogging Thing A Try...

I have been reluctant to jump on the blogging bandwagon as I already have my own forum on a well-known site, but then I did a bit of research on this type of thing. Turns out that blogs are yet another FREE marketing tool that I can use to promote my business, so why not? I can also use THIS type of forum to differentiate from the more serious discussions I initiate elsewhere and keep this area for musings about the pertinent kink-related happenings in my life. We'll see where this takes me. Hopefully somewhere interesting.

VQ