Funny Google Trick

Go to Google. Type in ASSHOLE in your search string. Then click "I'm Feeling Lucky." Enjoy...

VQ

To All The Houseboys...

...stop trying to get something for nothing. I received a call today from a prospective houseboy. He started off by saying that he had seen my ad on Erosguide. Ok, so that implied that he was seeking a professional service that I offer and NOT A DAMNED FREEBIE. Do I sound a bit harsh? Read on.

So after leading me on to believe that he wanted to become a paying customer by referencing my ad, he immediately states that he was wondering if I needed a houseboy. Um, how did we go from inquiring about paying me for a service to not paying anything at all? For the undereducated in my world, a houseboy is basically someone who wants to come over to my house and clean for me. Supposedly whatever "work" he does for me should negate a cash transaction that would normally be paid to me as for a professional session in my dungeon. So I tell him that I don't want a houseboy. He continues by saying that he HAD served me in the past. Oh, you're THAT guy...Trust me, I never forget a voice. All I needed was that little reminder and I remember who he was.

OK so he doesn't take NO for an answer and continues to question that my reasons aren't valid. I guess, "I don't want anyone knowing where I live" isn't good enough. "But I thought I did a good job when I served you?" So. So WHAT? That was THEN ( 1997 ) and this is NOW ( 2006). A lot has changed since then bucko and I don't want you around my house. Get it?

Maybe this all has something to do with my stellar experience of just a couple months ago? The last person who tried to serve me in the aforementioned capacity started to act weird and then suddenly couldn't take any criticism. That's the problem with having middle-aged men clean your house: if they need glasses to read, and don't wear them while cleaning--they miss a lot of details. You're probably wondering why the heck I had a middle-aged man around in the first place? Well he DID show up for some video shoots and did fine with those. He also had served a Mistress in the past so I figured he was experienced in understanding how it is when you are SERVING. That means you do stuff for me and get nothing in return unless I feel like paying attention to you. It's completely one-sided. If you know that going into the agreement, then don't bitch about it when it continues to be incredibly one-sided. I figured that he "got it" about serving a Mistress and there wouldn't be any problems. I was wrong.

Thus, I've had it with this something for nothing business. If you're not making enough money to pay me for a professional session, then you aren't worthy enough to come over to my house. Period. I think that's a fair demarcation point. I don't need my house cleaned THAT bad. I can certainly do it myself and it will look better than if it's done by someone who's mind is on his fantasy of me rather than getting the chores done!

The basic problem is that houseboys all long to be in a Lifestyle relationship. That means they want to have a girlfriend who dominates them sexually on a regular basis. That's a perfectly fine desire, but these houseboy types should be doing something other than trying to get a freebie if they want to achieve their goal. How about this: instead of bugging us Pro Dommes to let you come over and hang around "sort of" cleaning, why don't you work on your employment skills and get a better job? Do SOMETHING to increase your earning power; go to the gym ( oh wait, you probably can't afford that--do push ups and jog then); work on your diet; develop better etiquette; etc. When you have drastically improved yourself as a man, and you CAN afford a paying session, I'll bet that a lot of women in general will be more interested in you and then guess what? Your odds of finding someone who is kinky and wants to date you will suddenly go up. Last time I checked, the number of Pro Dommes I knew who fell in love with the underemployed guy who was scrubbing their toilets was...drumroll please...NONE.

This rant also applies to the guys who send out emails to multiple Mistresses seeking to be a personal slave. No, I'm not going to let a perfect stranger shack up with me just because he tells me in an email that he will do all sorts of things for me and I can whip him whenever I want to. Actually, keep sending the group emails out guys. We forward them to each other for shits and giggles. They are great fun to make talk about when the topic comes up of Losers We know!

VQ