The Quest For Intimacy in Pro BDSM

I believe that we've come full circle in the quest for SM. What I mean is the journey started for many with the advent of the internet, and after over a decade of exploration, men have decided what they want. It's what they have always wanted, but now they THINK they can get it with a Dominant Woman: sex. You're probably saying to yourself right now, "Well no duh, OF COURSE a guy wants to have sex! That's what he thinks about every minute of the day." Yeah, BUT I'm referring to an activity much more specific to what I do.

I'm sure that this has always been popular, but now guys feel more empowered to specifically seek it out with ladies who are Pro Dommes and the like. They want to be tied up, aroused and then have the woman have intercourse with them until she is satisfied...

Ok, so I don't do that and it's not because I am a prude. I just don't want to have sex with my clients. If I wanted to have sex with men who gave me money, then I would have been an escort. I don't particularly ENJOY sex WITH STRANGERS. I'm funny that way. My personal intimacy buttons can't be scratched with someone whom I've just met.

Now just because I don't get physically intimate with my clients, I do my best to try and counsel those who want that about how to find it. Overwhelmingly the age group that seems to be interested the most is in the 60 - 70 range. So a 60 something year old man wants a hot, intelligent woman to tie him up, arouse him, and then climb on top and have an earth-shattering orgasm. Mind you, this is on a regular basis and she needs to LIKE HIM and not just be doing it for the money. Hmmm....Does that sound like a combo platter that is feasible?

If there was a room of men of varying age groups, and one beautiful woman had her choice of them, whom would she pick to be intimate with? Some how the 60-70 year old age bracket probably wouldn't be her first choice. Now I'm not trying to be ageist. My clientele whom are 50+ are awesome. However, I don't look at them and think that I want to hop in the sack with them. For every beautiful woman who exists, her available pool of eligible men is vast. Have you kept your appearance up? Have you trimmed your ear hair? Grey pubic hair really is not so much. Yes, these things add up when considering a sexual partner. Do you think that Hugh Hefner's girlfriends really like him? COME ON. So what to do?

My recommendation to men of this age bracket who want sexual intimacy, intelligence, and a the lady to like them IS TO STOP SEEKING OUT PROS. Yes, it's much easier to scan the ads but ultimately you will NOT find what you are looking for. Your wallet will be lighter but that's about it. There ARE women out there who are a good fit for you, but they aren't professionals. What you guys NEED are financially independent women who don't necessarily have control during the day and who want to exercise it in their personal lives. Just like my clients all tend to be men who have lots of power in their professions, women who don't have all the control on a day to day basis tend to be more dominant in the bedroom. My regular female client has lots of control at work. She doesn't want it in the dungeon. The same is true on the opposite end of the spectrum. So where to find these ladies?

The women I have encountered who are the most intelligent but who have the least amount of control at work are nurses and teachers. I'm sure there are others who fit into this category, but I am basing my assessment on my own personal experience. Nurses and teachers have a certain level of education and usually know how to think critically.

The finanically independent part is important because you need to know that she is really into YOU and not your wallet. That has been the problem with those I have known who have made this pursuit. Money changes everything. How can you REALLY know if someone likes you for you if cash is being exchanged? You won't know until the money dries up, and then it can be a hurtful reality check. If you meet someone outside of a professional context, then you can be more certain that she is into the activity for the sake of her own interest. You WANT someone who is seeking selfish physical pleasure at your expense, and not to further her budget. Women have been getting what they want from men for ages. They know how to act and lie very well. You won't have to wonder if it's all a very well-played out scenario if she isn't getting paid.

The most difficult part of this combination is the looks department. The last time I was in a hospital for any duration, I didn't see that many hot nurses. Trust me, I was looking. I've seen some really hot nurse practioners, but not that many RNs who are of the ilk that these guys want. Well maybe that's where the compromise needs to be made. You can't have it all without money being involved, and if you DO get it, then you're VERY lucky. I can't speak about teachers as I don't spend time in elementary schools.

If all you want is sexual intimacy with your SM, that isn't that difficult to find these days. If you want the woman to LIKE YOU and have a relationship of sorts with you, stop kidding yourself. How many wives have you been through? If it's more than one, than maybe you're not that likable. Ouch, I know that hurt but I have A LOT of experience with the male gender as far as their likability index goes. You might think that you're a great catch as it were, but maybe you're not.

In closing, if you're someone who has had the fortunate experience of having an intimate BDSM relationship on any type of a personal level, then consider yourself lucky. If you are seeking it again, good luck with that. The combo platter that you have experienced is rare indeed and difficult to attain. You might not ever find it again. I wish you luck in your pursuit, but the odds are stacked against you. Of course now the challenge is up! You'll show me now won't you?

VQ