My Take On Public Play

From time to time I get calls about public humiliation. I usually end them feeling very irritated and frustrated with the person on the other end. More often than not I have to deny the person what they want because I have deemed it to be something that is too risky or violates my personal limits. You see, my job as a Pro Domme is someone who mediates your fantasies. I am the person who tells you whether or not what you have in mind is even feasible, how to accomplish it, and what you should expect to experience. I am NOT someone who is going to feed you lies and tell you what you want to hear. I'm really bad at lying and yes I know it's cost me a lot of money over the years, but I digress...

Public humiliation is a vast area of interest that titillates and intrigues many. The thought of "being discovered" is such a turn-on and makes people request what I think are some really dumb activities. So let's break public humiliation down to a level that takes away the hard-on and makes you consider the ramifications:

1. The risk to me and you.
Have you ever considered that whomever is viewing this escapade might not take too kindly to what is going on? I am referring to something very blatant like going out dressed as woman when it's very obvious you're a guy. Think of a pink maid outfit and white heels, etc. So what happens if we are in a regular bar or club and your typical "Jersey Shore" type a__hole walks up to us and calls you a F*GGOT and then decides he's gonna smack you in the jaw to show you what a "real man" does? Have you thought of that? Probably not.

Now of course there ARE places where you dressing up as a "sissy" are ok such as Bondage A Go Go, but outside of that context, I'm not comfortable parading you around to the general public. This country has said how it feels about gay people and I'm not willing to push that boundary in public. Yes, a guy dressed up as a woman is viewed as being gay even though you swear you're not...

2. No one else has agreed to participate in our arrangement.
Do you know what type of sexual practices your neighbors engage in? Do you WANT to know? Do you care? You probably don't want to know what gets your friends, family, and neighbors through the night, and ya know what? NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE INTO. That means NOT throwing it in their faces when you are out in public. Now I'm all for DISCRETE public play where no one else is aware of what is going on except for YOU AND ME, but beyond that--no thank you. I don't feel it is ethical to visually assault non-consenting adults to our kink. When someone is within the confines of a fetish event/club/street fair, they are agreeing to view possibly outrageous activities. When someone is simply out trying to have a good time, they aren't consenting to be drawn into another person's kink.

3. I don't know you from a hole in the wall.
You are a perfect stranger when you contact me. I don't know anything about how you react, what your motives are, or if you are a complete nut-job. I simply MUST see you in my studio for a regular session to make sure that you aren't completely unreasonable. Unless you have stellar references from a Mistress who is willing to call me and explain your kink in detail, I will not make an exception to this rule.

Mind you, I've done plenty of public play in the past that only me and my client were aware of. These were hot, kinky times and no one was the wiser to our escapades. Of course the THREAT of discovery made things very edgy, but that's the point. Your brain is the biggest sexual organ you have and it's very under-utilized most of the time. I use my brain a lot and especially when I'm on the phone negotiating with clients. Thus, while it might not sound very sexy to logically break down your fantasy, it will only result in a better outcome in the long run.

VQ