I have been under Her control in the past, strayed, and found that I needed
to return. In a recent note to me, She said:

I think that your experience is VERY important for other submissive men to know about ... curiosity, initial training, fervent adoration, and then insolent obstinence, only to be replaced by a longing to return to the "fold."

Let me tell you my "experience" in order to help you make a decision that
will keep you on a path that is satisfactory for you, and of more
importance, satisfactory for Her.

I have been married for over 25 years and my wife and I only have sex by masturbating. I don't remember when I started masturbating, but I was very young and loved it more than doing anything else. When I married, I was surprised and delighted to find that she also preferred masturbation to fucking. Over the years, I have continued to masturbate whenever I wanted, either with her or doing it alone. But I began to realize that I was losing the anticipation of doing it and yet I couldn't stop myself anytime I felt the urge.

By accident, surfing the web, I found the Vinyl Queen and discussed the need for control with Her. Under Her control, I became Debbie which removed much of the 'macho' feeling of being able to have sex whenever I wished, and made me feel more in the feminine role of being submissive to my Mistress. At first, She only forbid me to masturbate two days in a row; later She gave me specific dates when I could do it. Finally, she began giving me my monthly masturbation schedule. Until then, I don't ever recall going more than a couple of days without masturbating; however, She built me up to a point where I went an entire month without doing it.

Early on under Her control, She allowed me to masturbate if my wife wanted sex, but She eventually assumed control over even that aspect of allowing me to have sex. If She forbid it on certain dates, that included avoiding masturbating with my wife. I could do her, but not myself. Although I wanted to play with myself, I had to make up stories that I had done myself earlier that day and didn't need it.

On one occasion, she gave me a date when I could masturbate, but if I voluntarily didn't do it, She would allow me a special reward. Again, although I wanted to do it, She knew exactly how to exert subtle controls that made me anticipate and enjoy masturbation more than it ever had in my life.

Yes, there were times when I backslid, but I was honest with Her although I knew it would mean additional days when She would forbid me to masturbate. That only increased my desire to please Her.

Then I stupidly thought that I didn't need Her control. I was happy playing with myself and I began to get back into my old habit. Instead of berating me, the Vinyl Queen let me stew in my own juices until I saw the error of my ways. I missed getting my monthly schedule more and more. And I became less and less satisfied masturbating. It seems as if I had fallen into a common trap that She recognized.

However, I DID finally realize how much I need Her control and I wrote begging for her forgiveness and control again. Although She certainly didn't even have to respond to my request, my Mistress has agreed to schedule my masturbation sessions again. In summary, I want my experience to be valuable to other men who need masturbation control. If She agrees to take control, I urge you to submit completely to Her wishes. Submerge your wishes totally to Hers, masturbating ONLY when She allows it and denying it when She forbids it. What you want is not important. The ONLY thing important is when SHE allows you to masturbate. You will find yourself thinking about it more often, anticipating the allowable times with great pleasure, and when you are finally given permission to touch yourself, the pleasure of cumming is overwhelming.

Respectfully submitted,

debbie